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Okay, I’m done with my anti-Intelligent Design and Expelled rants for the time being. The good news is that Expelled as a movie phenomenon has fallen on deaf ears with the American public. As of today the take was less than $3,000,000 for two weeks. Now, keep in mind the religious fundamentalists have always proclaimed that if they were given the opportunity they could create the type of entertainment Americans really wanted and not that liberal, sexually perverse humanist crap that is awash in Hollywood.
Sorry, the religious wackos were wrong on several counts. First, most Americans could give a rat’s ass about science even Intelligent Design science unless it can be used to create compelling science fiction or a new iPod. That’s just the way it is, we just want to know we have the best technology available and we don’t care how we get there. After all, we can always hire Indian engineers for that!
Secondly, I think as of the moment Americans are once again focusing on bread and butter, or should I say bread & gas issues as they begin to question the wisdom of having elected an oil and gas man for president for two consecutive terms. As gas exceeds four dollars a gallon and we hear of hedge funds managers getting a $3.5 billion dollar bonus for the year even the most optimistic among us have to feel that something stinks in Denmark or should I say in the U.S.
Americans are just beginning to realize that the past two presidents and a plethora of CEOs have sold this country for some pocket change, just think about their gold parachutes and how they have transfered an entire generation’s future jobs, pensions and pollution to the likes of India and China. In this backdrop it is hard for a debate regarding evolution and Intelligent Design, regardless of the merits of either argument, to catch fire, so expect more escapist crap entertainment in the near future.
Now speaking of escapist crap, I continue my work on the sequel to Flores Girl: The Children God Forgot. The second novel is almost 550 pages but needs a good cleanup before its release. Now that the podcast is complete I am getting significantly more downloads by listeners which is always a good sign. Since the trilogy will be basically my life’s work I am determined to get it right and continue to obsessively revisit my previous writings and the podcasts. I have already re-recorded the first two podcast chapters and I am working on third chapter as I write this. It was a necessary evil since upon my re-listening of the original podcast I have found that I recorded the narrative at the pace of a chipmunk on crack. Also, as you may have noticed the Flores Girl graphics and web site will be getting a significant face lift from me as well.
Now I should point out that this rewriting behavior is not the norm for most writers. Generally, you write your first book and you get away from the wreckage as quickly as possible in much the same fashion you would flee from a toxic waste dump. Writers, and artists in general, have a lot of self-loathing going on. In fact, most agents and publishers encourage this behavior figuring you will start getting right by your third and fourth book.
Fortunately, I can’t do this because I find that the two main characters of the novel, Sarah and Richard, to be so compelling and such great foils for making my worldly observations come to life, I feel I would be doing a disservice to my readers and missing a great opportunity if I didn’t give the trilogy my all. And frankly, I don’t have that many novels in me since I am not one to rehash the same themes over and over again (I actually have one other novel in the works and a series of short stories including an interesting take on Sarah’s life taking a different path other than the one traveled in Flores Girl).
That’s it for now and I will share with you my future marketing plans for Flores Girl in which I may undertake some real hack marketing tactics. You can almost smell the sleaze! And speaking of sleaze the entire first Flores Girl: The Children God Forgot novel is available as a free download at WWW.A-FREE-EBOOK.COM
I tell you I get all kinds. The following rambling diatribe and its collective pearls of wisdom is kind of a norm for some of these Creationist folks. Let’s have a look at what we are dealing with in this classic comment from the retarded form of religion as Dr. Dawkins likes to call it (his words, not mine but more on those unfortunate words a little later in this piece) :
You forget this nation was founded on fundamental Christian principles reaped from the Word of God, the Bible, and the one and only God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. America was not founded to worship other gods and, in fact, God commands us not to worship any other gods nor even let their names come out of our mouths. It sounds all well and good to allow everyone in America to worship anyone they please no matter how pagan and wicked, but that is man’s idea and not God’s.
Cool, he’s anti-American as well! You know he reports to a higher authority like the voices in his head. Wait, there’s more:
God nearly destroyed Israel because of their turning to heathen gods and He’s going to do the same thing to America. He likens running to another god to a bride becoming a prostitute.
Okay, so if you don’t believe in his god you are some sort of a theological slut! No way, I’m a marketing slut and damn proud of it, so please visit my Flores Girl Podcast as Podiobooks, just click on the chick in the jungle on your right! But I digress…
So it is not so weird that the majority of Americans believe they were created by and in the image of God. Yet the Christians are called the idiotic and stupid ones. No, it is the minority of atheists and heathens who have tried to take over a Christian nation who are the ignorant ones and America is finally getting fed up with it. The Christians have been told to sit down and shut up but that time is over. We will no longer be oppressed and run over by a minority group of people trying to convince us we evolved from an ape when in fact we were created just a little lower than the angels.
Folks there you have it, on the spiritual evolutionary scale we are just a notch below the angels. And that small minority groups sounds suspiciously like those pesky Jews. Watch out Ben Stein, you’re next with this crowd! And now for the grand finale:
Maybe all the evolutists (sic) should go find their own little island somewhere where they can jump through the trees and eat bananas and be like their descendants and leave the normal, sane people here.
Actually, I think most evolutionists will acknowledge that our ancestors were partial to meat-eating. As to his or her sanity I will leave that assessment to the reader but I think this writer just escaped from the polygamist compound in Texas.
And there you have it, another well reasoned and erudite Creationist writing. To be fair I have also reasoned some intelligent, good natured responses from the Intelligent Design crowd. And the pro-evolutionary force is not beyond a little god-baiting and name calling as well. Take for example the evolutionist Dr. Richard Dawkins straight from his acting debut in Expelled and his acerbic comment about where the resistance to evolution is coming from:
“It comes, I’m sorry to say, from religion. And from bad religion. You won’t find any opposition to the idea of evolution among sophisticated, educated theologians. It comes from an exceedingly retarded, primitive version of religion, which unfortunately is at present undergoing an epidemic in the United States. Not in Europe, not in Britain, but in the United States.”
Or how about this bon mot from the good doctor when asked about why we believe in God?
“One suggestion is that the child mind is, for very good Darwinian reasons, susceptible to infection the same way a computer is…”
So how did this virus start in the first place Dr. Dawkins? From God or do all humans have innate longing to follow an alpha male? And you have to admit god is the biggest alpha male you are ever going to find! The point is a scientist can find a hypothesis for every observable human behavior even the ones they believe to be retarded. You don’t have to denigrate the argument about a belief in god into a round of name calling and that borders on the juvenile even for an esteemed scientist. So everybody has their own agenda, including me, so please click on my podcast. Now if you want to make fun of Intelligent Design, well, I am all for it but as for the retarded comment I think that is a bit much. What do you think?
Below is an comment I received in response to one of my blogs that was basically an advertisement for a Creationist school book series. I don’t get mad at this sort of thing since I do the same type of viral marketing with Flores Girl. On the other hand, I guess I don’t have a life so I actually looked the site up. Wow, talk about strange. I have never seen someone tie themselves up in mental knots like this before. I mean I once knew a girl who was good with knots but that’s an entirely different story and for a entirely new blog. Anyway, take a gander at this and see if any of this makes sense to you. I get this stuff all the time because of the name of my adventure podcast, Flores Girl: The Children Got Forgot. The creationist flog to the site like birds to freshly washed car. Did I mention Flores Girl was a free podcast at Podiobooks? Okay, I’m a marketing slut, I admit it.
Erik John Bertel
THERE IS A NEW DISCIPLINE:
The Quest for !@#$, a series of 7 textbooks created for the public schools, represents the ultimate marriage between an in-depth knowledge of biblical phenomena and natural and physical sciences. (You got this is for the home schooled crowd -EjB) The several volumes have accomplished that which, heretofore, was deemed impossible: to level the playing field between those who desire a return to physical science in the classroom and those who embrace the theory of evolution. The Quest for Right turns the tide by providing an authoritative and enlightening scientific explanation of natural phenomena which will ultimately dethrone the unprofitable Darwinian view.
(How about a little dethroning via some scientific research and experimentation rather than saying god did it? -EjB)
The backbone of Darwinism is not biological evolution per se, but electronic interpretation, the tenet that all physical, chemical, and biological processes result from a change in the electron structure of the atom which, in turn, may be deciphered through the orderly application of mathematics, as outlined in quantum mechanics. A few of the supporting theories are: degrading stars, neutron stars, black holes, extraterrestrial water, antimatter, the absolute dating systems, and the big bang, the explosion of a singularity infinitely smaller than the dot of an “i” from which space, time, and the massive stellar bodies supposedly sprang into being.
(Huh, I guess this is how creationists try to explain randomness in the gene pool – EjB)
The philosophy rejects any divine intervention. Therefore, let the philosophy of Darwinism be judged on these specifics: electron interpretation and quantum mechanics. Conversely, the view that God is both responsible for and rules all the phenomena of the universe will stand or fall when the facts are applied. The view will not hinge on faith alone, but will be tested by the weightier principle of verifiable truths – the new discipline.
(Actually that is the province of physicists but what the heck if we muddy the water enough maybe nobody will notice all we are saying is god did it! – EjB)
The Quest for !@$# is not only better at explaining natural phenomena, but also may be verified through testing. As a consequence, the material in the several volumes will not violate the so-called constitutional separation of church and state. Physical science, the old science of cause and effect, will have a long-term sustainability, replacing irresponsible doctrines based on whim. Teachers and students will rejoice in the simplicity of earthly phenomena when entertained by the new discipline.
(Ouch, new discipline – that sounds scary, almost Catholic school-like. Still it could be fun with the right girl! Yikes, I’m starting to sound like a fetish freak!-EjB)
The Quest for !@#$ is not only an academic resource designed for the public schools, but also contains a wealth of information on pertinent subjects that seminarians need to know to be effective: geology, biology, geography, astronomy, chemistry, paleontology, and in-depth Biblical studies. The nuggets from the pages of Biblical history alone will give seminarians literally hundreds of fresh ideas for sermons and teachings. The ministry resources contained in The Quest for Right serve as invaluable aids that will enrich graduates beyond their highest expectations.
(Stephen Hawkins watch out, those wacky creationists scientists will be after you next! – EjB)
Here’s a passage from the book:
The investigation tackles the perplexing problem of how to reduce the earth’s heavy saturation of atmospheric water vapors on the first and second days of creation to their present level. Interestingly, light but not the sun was created on the first day; the sun was created on the fourth day. The cleric scholarship, unaccustomed to the laws of classical physics, has been rendered impotent in the submission of any viable mechanism. The league of scientists are similarly neutralized even though they have the answer within their grasp. The quandary leaves the investigation poised to solve the seemingly inexplicable riddle by incorporating the best of both worlds: the premises set down in the scientific record of creation and the fundamental rules of classical physics, which hold the universe in its grasp. The mystery is solved by entertaining a certain aspect of the marvelous water molecule.
(What the heck? Is it me or does any of this make sense? I know I am not home schooled but huh?- EJB)
You will not want to miss the adventure of a lifetime which awaits you in Volume 1 of The Quest for !@#$. (Wow, there are seven volumes of them)
“A book that will change the world.” – Wayne’s World, Editor, Vanity Publishing
(I thought the Bible did that? Hey, this is fun, it’s good to be the king- EjB)
Okay, I just can’t let go of this one. The other problem with this silly pseudo-science is that Intelligent Design purports to have some great interfaith universality when in fact teaching Intelligent Design would be contrarian to many other religious beliefs as well. Many Buddhists have little need or no need for a creator/personal god guiding the direction of the universe and for a fundamentalist the god of Intelligent design would weaken the power of their personal god or their fundamental belief in a 6,000 year old earth. Intelligent design, as advocated by Expelled, is not only bad science but bad religious dogma for many people as well and is specifically a tired, rehashed Judaic/Christian fundamentalist dogma.
Furthermore, Intelligent Design is a belief structure that is reduced to disingenuous nitpicking at the edges of scientific theory called evolution, looking for a foothold where none is forthcoming or where the ground is forever shifting. And does anyone care the least bit that Intelligent Design actually destroys any illusion of free will? I mean when does god’s hand comes down and beginning squeezing the jaws of the chosen people so that the next generation can have one less molar? I am of course referring to the observation that our wisdom teeth have become superfluous in modern man as our jaws continued to be downsized. And if god is removing teeth as part of his great evolutionary plan what else is god mucking with? If all of this sounds rather silly as an argument well that’s because it is. Rather than being liberating like religion, Intelligent Design is a bastard child of Creationist’s convenience and is not terribly convincing even as a pseudo-science.
The loss of ‘free will’ is of no concern to Rush Limbaugh, after all he believes life should be scripted as per his own neo-conservative credo and no dissenter need apply. Rush skewers the scientific community with such dismissive comments as “the condescension and the arrogance these people have, they will readily admit that Darwinism and evolution do not explain how life began.” Hey, lard ass, it’s the theory of evolution and not the theory of creation! Jeez, can’t you follow any discriminating, structured argument?
So now the great vicodin-fueled gas bag himself has added his own personal endorsement to the movie Expelled. And why not? Minimal critical thinking is required to embrace Intelligent Design and with Intelligent Design god’s chosen species is once again returned to the top of the proverbial spiritual food chain. I should point out since man made god in his own image it comes as no surprise that most fundamentalist religions make it a point to exclude women from their own theocracy. When does the madness and stupidity stop?
Alright, I know I said that insults have to stop but really isn’t Rush Limbaugh just an escaped caricature from some perverse adult theme park? Al I can say is just be careful Rush or scientists will stop inventing new pain killers for you to buy from your housekeeper. And that cheesy photo of him with a cigar! Doesn’t he know cigars go best with a tacky Hawaiian shirt!
26
Mar
08
Expelled, No Intelligence Allowed at the Movies: Where Bad Religion Doctrine Meets Bad Science
Wow! “Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed,” the movie has made evolution chic once again. If you haven’t heard yet those wacky creationists got the bright idea to make a pro-Intelligent design movie. Unlike others that feel it is their right to comment on a movie they haven’t seen I haven’t seen this original piece of work so I will limit my comments to the central premise of the movie: Intelligent Design. You may also be wondering why the hell a blog about writing cares about Intelligent design. One of the basic themes of my novel and free speculative fiction podcast, Flores Girl:The Children God Forgot, is the individual struggle between a path of science and one’s spiritual choices. Many of the more devout podcast listeners are offended by the main character’s irreverent take on religion, after all they are biologists, and I have exchanged some interested discourses with some religious fundamentalist types.
What is interesting about the Expelled phenomenon is that the bitterness and acrimony expressed during the reviews of the movie can only be the province of true believers on both sides of the argument. Categorically, each side has rejected the other’s arguments and the personal animosity shows. Science is about the pursuit of truth but not necessarily the seeking of a final truth whereas religion is all about a final truth as accepted by the true believers. And yes, science does have its own dogma and priesthood but that doesn’t mean the pursuits of the church and science are the same. That contradiction just reflects the ture nature of man. The problem is there is no halfway solution; the two should remain irrevocably separate. To teach one as a complement to the other in some sort of bizarre ying and yang relationship does a disservice to the lucid thinking of our younger generations and confuses the choices of an individual.
Moreover, while the knowledge of god is liberating to a pious person, to a scientist the heavy hand of god is extremely confining. There is not much a scientist can do with the theory that “god did it” or that “god will do it” and that in essence is the guiding insight of Intelligent design. Okay, they say Intelligent guidance rather than the almighty but wink, wink we all know they are talking about god, and in fact a Christian god. And if you believe in the doctrine of Intelligent design at what exact point in the science do you throw up your hands and acknowledge the handiwork of that god? That’s not as easy a decision as you might think if you think rationally and scientifically.
Today, physicists struggle to throw off the self-imposed shackles of their own Big Bang theory by embracing string and brane theory so unwilling are they to acknowledge the imposition of a god at a given starting point or singularity in the universe. And I say good for them, stretching the imagination is prerequisite for science and being timid has no place in science. Scientific theory has an entire thought and review process that is alien to religious practice and rather than fostering blind leaps of faith, science is forever skeptically questioning what we know. Rather than seeing the scientific process of question and debate as strength the very scientific process emboldens the ignorant. Asking why five fingers, two eyes and a single anus is de rigeur for a scientist rather than the blind belief that we are made in god’s image. I don’t know why we are what we are but saying god did it is not going to get us any closer to the truth; it just makes it easier for the vast majority of us to excuse ourselves for being intellectually lazy.
Getting back to my comment that there can be no middle solution with teaching evolution and creationism, excuse me Intelligent design, that would be analogous to a person asking to become a priest without believing in God on the pretense that he wants to serve mankind. No sane Church would have him as a member of t he clergy no matter how good his intentions. He would be kindly reminded that there are other, more appropriate venues for him to demonstrate his innate humanitarianism.
Now to the flip side of the coin as they say. The true believer on the side of science has a considerable personal investment in their own personal struggle to free themselves from the yoke of religious instruction and oppression. Men railing against one another about the existence of God and his/her manifestations in the world, each claiming to have greater insights as to the truth is a common artifact of this individual’s spiritual struggle. For the atheist and agnostic alike religion smells of man and not god and consequently they are reduced to ineffectual displays of rebellion à la Sinead o Connor as she ripped up photos of the Pope on stage. And yet they forget that straining against the religious ties that bind often constricts you more. I know that because I have been in that bitter mode before. So for my evolutionary friends I say use a little less venom, fewer insults and add a little more understanding as to why men (word used deliberately) clutch to their seemingly irrational beliefs. They are not all morons and face it, it is a basic biologically urge to seek the ultimate alpha male in god!
More to follow!
A new George Washington study of craniums discloses that the Hobbits of Flores Island are in fact a new human species. Well duh, the GW study is merely stating the obvious as the likes of the late Dr. Teuku Jacob and Dr. Berger’s Palau find continue to muck the proverbial academic waters with their own murky agendas. No wonder the creationists feel so emboldened nowadays when they observe evolutionary scientists continuously getting embroiled in a pissing contest of personal egos. As Dr. Junger from SUNY Stony Brook said the Palau find is “is really much ado about nothing.” I guess the fact that none of the Palau bones found match the hobbits really doesn’t matter. After all, the frontal cranium looks almost as high as a human’s but hey Dr. Berger says they are related to the hobbit. Damn, can’t we complete a dig before we report the findings nowadays?
You know I have a vested interest in this discovery, having written the speculative fiction novel called Flores Girl: The Children God Forgot on the recent fossil find.
So have gotten through this podcasting exercise I came up with seven golden rules for podcasting fiction that I have learned from my own speculative fiction podcast, Flores Girl:The Children God Forgot -
1. Do complete your novel before recording the podcast and do not write as you go. Making it up as you go along may have worked for Indiana Jones but for a podcast that is a recipe for certain failure. It very easy to go down a rat hole in a story and with it so go your listeners.
2. Seriously consider culling your written work so as to make the podcast more manageable in overall length. By the way, I did not listen to my own advice.
3. Do invest in the proper audio equipment for your recording. There are some good discussions at the Podiobooks community site about this issue. You will also need the right software to edit your podcast and yes, we do get into the stupid PC-Mac holy wars as well.
4. Practice, listen and then practice some more.
5. And then edit and re-edit your results like a demon. Listen several times and then asks others to listen as well. One of the Podiobooks writers complained that he recorded a flatulent moment during one of his podcasts and unfortunately he doesn’t use side effects. I can’t say I have recorded a sound artifart but I have occasionally recorded a family argument or two by accident. I have also missed an edit and recorded the same sentence several times.
6. Don’t do accents or change sex during a podcast unless you are a marvelous actor or a very talented hermaphrodite.
7. Once completed marketed the hell out of your podcast. Just because you recorded it that doesn’t mean the listeners will automatically flock to it.
By the way I really do enjoy working with the people at Podiobooks, including Evo Terra and Chris Miller but maybe you have had good experiences with other sites and communities. Please share!
Speculative fiction is not fantasy fiction, as it rules out the use of anything as material which violates established scientific fact, laws of nature, call it what you will, i.e., it must [be] possible to the universe as we know it. – Robert A. Heinlein
One of the worst aspects of publishing work in a Web 2.0 world is the myriad tasks the author must undertake. Besides writing the crap the writer must undertake numerous sleazy marketing efforts. In the past that been relegated to the obligatory series of interviews and book signing, assuming that is if the author was lucky enough in his career or her to get to that point.
Today the challenges are different and far more varied. Most of the work still revolves around the writing, editing and marketing of the work. However the marketing piece of the puzzle is a bit of a quandary and requires the greatest flexibility on the part of the fledgling writer. Worse, it is also damn time consuming.
If you go the route of podcasting, which has its myriad appeals and challenges, it requires the author to do production work and possibly the biggest challenge of all: narrating the work. The web work can involve a site or minimally a blog for the author’s various fans to turn into. Besides words, structures these endeavors typically require some type of graphics, Search engine optimization and knowledge of key words; all daunting challenges for the uninitiated. If you have money you could have somebody else do it but you still must manage the ongoing mess.
The biggest marketing challenge could be the designation of your work into one of the existing genres. Why? That’s because the genre designation ultimately determines your readers and finally your choices among agents and publishers.
My problem was what the hell do you call Flores Girl: The Children God Forgot? An adventure story sort of describes it but there were some science fiction elements as well to the story. After all the core of the story is about the survival of Homo floresiensis on a small tropical island and that is speculative at best. In actuality these small three-foot tall hominids died out 12,000 years ago or maybe as recently as 400 years ago based on some early historical accounts. In any case, nobody expects them to be found alive and well today, at least not with the way China is clear cutting the forests of Southeast Asia. To call it science fiction would really disappoint the hardcore science fiction fans; you know not enough hardware and overall fantasy elements to keep them enthralled to quite honest with you. I mean if you can’t have sex with an alien then why bother calling it science fiction?
Then I came across the term speculative fiction and the Robert Heinlein definition. The definition seems appropriate fro my book but its usage and acceptance as part of the vernacular is no where near as universally accepted as science fiction. As a measure of popularity I did a search fro speculative fiction and turned up only a couple of million hits in Google. Compare that with science fiction with nearly 140 million hits and you have yourself a huge disparity in overall acceptance. So which sandbox do you want to play in, the larger one where you won’t get noticed or the smaller one with a much smaller audience? I’ll go with the one that is a better fit, thank you, speculative fiction. It maybe a smaller audience but in the long run hopefully it is the right one. I’ll let you know.
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